girlflesh

So, my friend wants to go get taquitos. And I'm like, "Um, YES. If I can find clothes. I WILL GO NAKED IF I HAVE TO."

And she's like, "Um, not on my upholstery."

Today This week was awesome because:

1) I saw Rufus Wainwright live with my mom on Sunday! It was amazing, he was amazing, and if we weren't both gay, we would be married. No, srsly, I just want him to sit in the corner and sing to me, always.

2) I made hateable understand exactly how goddamn crazy my dad is. SHE WILL NEVER DOUBT HIS MENTAL INSTABILITY AGAIN.

3) Tomorrow I'm actually going to answer my Question Tuesday questions. You guys should ask me more questions in the comments of this post! Ask me anything you'd like!

4) I'm reading Going Bovine by Libba Bray which is a comedy about mad cow disease. Yeah, really. It's hysterical so far. I'm also reading Wide Awake by David Levithan which I'm also enjoying. It takes place in the nearish future, probably 30-50 years from now, when a gay Jewish man is elected president which is basically ~revolutionary~. The main character is a gay Jewish teenage boy and heavily into politics, but then the election is called into question by crazy bitches. It's pretty good so far, I'm definitely enjoying it.

5) I researched and wrote my entire first draft of my research paper on Wednesday because the first draft was due THURSDAY. It was supposed to be 12-15 pages long. I wrote 14. Showed up to class on Thursday and was the only person who had written more than seven pages. Sigh.

6) I know for a fact I got a perfect score on my French exam today. Le chat est sous le table. Aimez-vous fromage? C'é aranciata?

7) Spent an hour on Omegle, trying to see if anybody on there WASN'T a creeper. Tomorrow I will make an epic post with all of the hilarious responses I received. Here's a teaser:

You: Do you like goldfish?
Stranger: yeah
You: Aren't they delicious?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: show me yo titties
You: Do you have a problem with man boobs?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: up for cam sex
You: Grandma?!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Are you a creeper?
Stranger: yes i am
Stranger: sorry
You: Thanks for admitting it.

8) Today I was standing on the bus and, of course, all of the bondage and escort ads fell out of the newspaper I was holding and fell on an old woman's head. She looked very dismayed that a whole lot of transvestite hooker ass had just rained down upon her face. D:

In the past 39 hours I have had:

1. three bananas
2. about 2.5 cups of yams
3. a bowl of banana oatmeal
4. a bowl of strawberry oatmeal
5. half a graham cracker
5. a gigantic red grape that would have made Ofelia from El laberinto jealous to the maaax
5. a serious decline in my ability to read, but so far no serious issues with writing and/or spelling
6. a tiny bit of an orange-scented highlighter about 45 minutes ago that smelled fucking delicious omgdontjudgemeokay >.>
7. some toothpaste I accidentally swallowed because I took a nap while brushing (D:)
8. 5.5ish 6 8 Wait, no, 7 comes after 6--SEVEN Nope, it's eight now--EIGHT Amps (mixed berry flavor tastes like aging dentist, FYI)
9. two hours of sleep, on top of a stuffed boy dragon named Emily who is not quite the optimum pillow replacement

In your expert medical opinion, am I going to die?

EDIT:
missambs: donna go the fuck to bed >:|

missambs: I'm going to bed.
missambs: you should too >:|
me: Sleep well. Avoid dragons.
missambs: if you are online tomorrow night and have not had sleep -- wtf dragons?

Does angry punctuation mean she's serious? D:

Also, I have no idea what I typed right here: I have just had one of those days that feels like it was two days long (because, um, it was) and feels so crazy it's crazy crazy crazy and your brain is just fried fried fried but gooooing because you are wired and it's beautiful, but terrible and punctuation stops making logical sense sometimes

Friend: What are you doing right now?

Me: I'm learning how to factor trinomials whose leading coefficient is not 1.

Friend: Why do you insist upon speaking to me in nerd?

Friend: Oh my God, the Elvis costume comes in XL!

Me: Um, that's because Elvis came in XL.

Also: We've decided that anybody who dresses their dog up like a french maid or a schoolgirl is a creeper.

My little brother: When are you going to come back and live at home?

Me: You can't have my room.

My little brother: ...how did you know?

lafemmedarla: THIS IS NOT CANON
girlflesh: ...
girlflesh: THAT IS YOUR BIGGEST WORRY HERE?
lafemmedarla: Everyone knows Vader listens to ABBA, not MC Hammer.
lafemmedarla: What?
girlflesh: *pats*

girlflesh: I've totes been invited to a bachelor party once.
girlflesh: A gay bachelor party.
missambs: heee really?
missambs: awesome
girlflesh: But I did not go because I'm not into male strippers. And scary things happen when you get a lot of very gay boys into one venue and get them very drunk.
girlflesh: And that thing happens to be Kylie Minogue.
missambs: HAHAHAHAH

I'm reading Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson for my World Lit III class and people keep asking me if I go to church and/or I'm a Christian.

It's a book about heavy narcotic use and being lost and found and lost again.

The title comes from "Heroin" by The Velvet Underground.

As you can imagine, this leads to much awkward conversation.

lafemmedarla: I miss Anne Boleyn on The Tudors.
girlflesh: Guess her character was kinda temporary, huh?
lafemmedarla: Hopefully the new wife will last?
girlflesh: I don't want to spoil the ending for you.
lafemmedarla: Shhhh.